TEN EXPERIENCES TO AVOID WHEN BUYING A CLASSIC CAR

Many of us have reflected that dealing with certain vendors is the most challenging aspect of buying a classic car. Here are ten warning signs:

1) “Easy restoration project”. If the process is that easy, why not do it yourself? In fact, I’ll happily pay a premium for a restored vehicle. At this point, the vendor suddenly forgot how to answer emails, or long-distance direct-dial telephoning came to the UK in 1958. Closely related to:

2) “Will sail through MOT”. This applies to younger classics now, but the phrase, or variations of it, has been with us for quite a while. Again, asking the vendor what they would charge to MOT said car often results in enigmatic silence.

3) “It will clean up beautifully” often translates as “Only several years of accumulated mud are holding it together.”

4) Communication via telepathy. Or smoke signals. You might have a question about the vehicle for sale along the lines of “Why can we only see a front three-quarter view in the pictures?” but in your email, there is none. As for the telephone - “Press Button B, caller”.

5) Not knowing what they are actually selling. This does happen, and correcting the vendor on the identity of their car may not win you universal popularity. This phenomenon includes mistaking trim level, model, marque, or even engine type.

6) “This car starred in ‘Terrible Nostalgia Television Series’, and I will charge 300% over the odds”. If a buyer is so naive/desperate to pay that amount for a vehicle in dubious condition that had a bit role one episode in said programme, then who are we to stop them? Closely associated with -

7) “This car was once owned by the tambourine player with Derek & The Rotavators, Southampton’s premier beat combo. I am therefore going to inflate the price by 400%”. Telling the vendor that the former star owner devoted two lines in their memoirs about this vehicle, both of them rude, may not result in a discount.

8) “I’ve already had a lot of interest in this car, and someone is coming from London in about an hour to put down a deposit”. Good luck to them...

9) “I cannot let you take it for a test drive as it is in the barn behind several other cars/awaiting new wheels/taking part in the latest Doctor Who adventure”. And, possibly the ultimate warning sign -

10) “It’s supposed to be that way.” No, it really is not. Audi ensured that its products had two front wings when they left the factory.

Happy hunting...